Been a few weeks…. I’ve been way busy. Hope you haven't missed me.  

Magic (4-0) vs. Maulers (3-1)

Lets face it. Andy Quinn is just pure evil. I think we should all show up to his house Sunday and egg his car. Better yet, lets just tar and feather his ass and get it over with. This guy gets luckier than a 3-peckered billy goat in a heard of sheep. After an injured and bye week riddle WoWW in week 4, the Magic draw The Maulers who could have both starting RB’s in the infirmary. Regardless I’m sticking with my previous conviction of never picking The Magic to win and betting that the revamped Maulers will serve some justice week 5.

Maulers 75 Magic 56.

WoWW (3-1) vs. Onslaught (1-3)

The Slugs are on a 3 game loosing skid and it won’t get any easier this week. After resting Williams, Robinson, and Portis last week, WoWW is eager to get back on their winning ways. The Onslaught will have to wait to get back to some East Divisional games to get a win, where the picking are a little easier.

WoWW 85 Onslaught 72

Sharks (1-3) vs. Crushers (2-2)

The Fantasy Football Carousel that is The Sharks square off with The Crusher in a fairly important divisional battle. The Crushers got off to a slow start but are only one game back, while The Sharks have gotten off to a slow start and remain consistent in that regard. With 2 divisional loses already, The Sharks need a win here or they’ll have the inside track at drafting nest years Onterrio Smith. Neither team is exactly healthy nor have they been juggernauts in the scoring category, which means they both have a chance. So I’m not saying The Sharks can’t win this one, but it’s about as likely as Col. Piro giving up his gold card membership to N.A.M.B.L.A.

Crushers  60 Sharks 43

Panthers (4-0) vs. Cougars (1-3)

The Panthers are 4 and 0. Clearly this is one of the signs of the end of the world as noted by Notsradamus in his quatrain:

 "In the year of the new century three and nine months,
From the field will come a great Cat of Terror...
The sky will burn at forty-five degrees.
The Leader has named his pet pig, “Mommy”.”

 I’m not 100% sure what that means, but I am guessing that either it means The Cougars don’t stand a chance in this weeks battle for Penisville, or they will both get together and accidentally blow up their moonshine still. Either way, you have to like The Panthers odds to go 5-0. (Man that just seems odd to say).

Panthers 75 Cougars 65 

-=Upset Special=-

Storm (2-2) vs. The Nukers (1-3)

Proving again that he only needs the 4-horsemen to win, The Storm pulled a W last week with their kicker on bye.  The Nukers got their first win last week with a resounding tie and look to draw one game closer this week in a must have divisional game. With some off-season bad fortune a line up moves seemingly by the minute, The Nukers have a assembled a rag tag group of no-names that are 7^th in the league in scoring, but unfortunately last in their division in wins. I look for that to change this week. With Faulk still out, McNabb in a slump, Harrison facing a brutal Tampa D and an absent Tight end Compliment for The Storm, the revitalized Nukers have the match ups to pull a HUGE upset this week, if Ferrotte and Duckette continue to step up.

Nukers 69 Storm 56

 -= Game of the Week =-

Lightning (1-3) vs. Knights (1-3)

Battle for The Basement. Wow. What the hell happened to these two teams? Draft day held such prose for both these franchises that is simply hard to believe they have but 2 wins between them going into week 5. This one is a big game and should be a slobber knocker, as each team looks primed with enough match ups to get back on the winning track. However with Holt on bye and LT playing The Jags porous defense, the edge has to go to The Knights.

Knights 80 Lightning 75

Good luck.