Week 9 - The South went 3-0 again last week. It's Bears vs. Packers weekend and the Bear are in first place in the Black and Blue Division. Does it get any better than this? I don't think so.

Panthers (4-4) vs. Magic (5-3)

The Panthers are on a pace to have their first winning season ever, albeit a slow pace. Actually a backward pace, The Panthers have dropped 3 straight and there are rumors flying around that if this team does not produce a winning season this year Owner Sauer will rename The 2002 Panthers to the Pensiville er.. Pennellville Power Puff Girls (In order to better represent the franchise.) The Magic has dropped a franchise record 3 in a row as well which could indicate that Owner Quinn be losing his touch for casting spells on opposing teams. Either that or the record indicates the effects of having Fragile Fred Taylor on his team. Not to mention Fragile Deuce, Fragile Bennett and M.I.A Moss. They may want to consider renaming the franchise as well to something like, The Syracuse Magically Delicious, because teams are starting to feast on them. But, The Magic need this game to keep pace and will get a bit healthier this week which should be enough for a win.

Magic 55 Panthers 45

Storm (7-1) vs. Lightning (0-8)

Doesn't that 1 in the loss column of the Storm look pretty? I hear Owner Sheridan is still stinging over that one. I am sure that we would all like to see a 1 in the W column, for the Lightning and they damn near pulled a W out last week but in this league you simply can't win in this league with out a running game. The Lightning may have the best receiving core but they would need that, a sledgehammer and a gang of thugs to stop the Storm this week.

Storm 85 Lightning 55

Maulers (5-3) vs. Knights (5-3)

Col. Piro has not been seen in 8 straight days. Also, you cannot buy, rent or steal a tae-bo tape in this town. Coincidence or Piro porn? You be the judge. However, there is a joke running around the Maulers locker room though: "What do you call Col. Piro with a running nose?…… Full." So maybe the players know something we don't. I do know that The Maulers need a win here to avoid buying a one-way ticket to the 2001 Bridesmaids bowl. Although I suppose it would be a good thing for the seamstress to know now fairly soon, because fitting Piro's fat ass for a Bridesmaids dress could take awhile not to mention a whole freakin' lot of fabric. Maybe they could find a chenille tent at Wal-Mart, cut a head hole and save some time. …But I digress. The fact is with James on the bench and Eddie George playing like Eddie Munster, the Maulers are in trouble. The Knights blew decent opportunity to take a lead in the North Division and now will have to rebound to keep pace. I'm guessing that will put them in a nasty mood and they should be a bit too solid for The Maulers to handle this week.

Knights 75 Mauler 70

Nukers (2-6) vs. Crushers (3-5)

Just another game or a precursor to the Sauer bowl championship? The Crushers squeaked by in another 2001 nail biter while the Nukers got hammered. The Crushers may be looking the Sauer Bowl straight in the eye, but the Nukers with a streak could make run at the 2001 Bridesmaid Bowl. I'm guessing that won't happen though. The Nukers are in disarray right now while the Crushers seem to be finding an identity. Unfortunately that identity is a cross-dressing persona named Lydia, but I suppose to each their own. The Crushers are also in the battle tested South Division and that type of experience should gain them a win.

Crusher 55 Nukers 45

*****Upset Special*****

It seems The Carps...err, Sharks aren't ready to relinquish the lead in the vaunted South division. This week they face a team that has scored a league low 306 points. You'd think it was in the bag. However, this may actually be the first week of the season that The On-sluts… err Onslaught will have a healthy 2 back offense to field. Until recently The Onslaughts injury report has read like 'War and Peace' however, Terrell Davis looked good last week (17 for 70) and appears to have re-solidified himself as the Broncos starter. Also, the recent signing of surprise QB Tom Brady seems to have solidified a glaring weakness. All this may be a bit too late for a divisional run for a divisional run for the Slugs but it certainly will help in playing the roll of the spoiler down the stretch. Combine that with the fact that winning and The Sharks goes together like peanut butter and asparagus, and I smell and upset.

Onslaught 65 Sharks 55

Game of the Week

WoWW (5-3) vs. Cougars (6-2)

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrre Kitty, Kitty, Kitty. Has been the call in the WoWW locker room this week. The cry in the Cougars locker room has been, "Give me moonshine or give me whiskey. Or, give me a beer, but don't give me death because my record is pretty decent and threes three guys in front of a car and there may be a chance that power rankings are bogus and I AM DUE! Give me moonshine! I am due for moonshine." This really is what a game of the week should be though. The leagues #1 vs. #2 scoring teams. The #1 vs. the #2 ranked breakdown teams. The #1 vs. the #3 power ranked team. Manning vs. Garcia, Troy Brown vs. David Boston, Shannon Sharpe vs. Tony Gonzalez, Ricky Williams and Anthony Thomas vs.……..Um Nobody.

WoWW 80 Cougars 65

Good luck to all. ~Jim