Week 5 - We still have 2 undefeated Teams, The Magic and The Storm. Feel free give them a round of applause, or hate mail, which ever you prefer. On the other hand we still have four (yes FOUR) teams searching for their first win. Feel free to send those owners humanitarian aid. I'm going to make this rather short since I am moving into my new house this week. When I get settled I'll send you all my new address, except the Sharks. (As we all agreed in the secret meeting we had with out him.)

The Nukers (0-4) vs. The Magic (4-0) )

This is going to be bloody. The Nukers have had a league high 302 points scored against them while scoring a league low 120 points. They have even resorted to trying the old "9 men on the file" trick with no luck. Quite simply nothing has gone well for The Nukers this year. On the other hand The Magic have elevated the art of luck to an entire new skill level. The Magic have Fred Taylor, Duce Staley and Todd Pinkston on bye week, but it won't matter.

Magic 85 Nukers 64

Lightning (0-4) vs. Knights (3-1)

Oh the humanity. The Lightning will win a few this year, but not this week.

Knights 75 Lightning 45

The Sharks (3-1) vs. The Cougars (2-2)

The Sharks and winning go together like peanut butter and asparagus which makes their 3-1 record rather hard to explain. The Sharks are coming off a tough loss to the Magic and things won't get any easier this week having Jimmy Smith on bye and the fabled running attack of Atowain Smith and Tyrone Wheatley starting in The Sharks backfield. The Cougars on the other hand, are quietly building a core of the largest group of mediocre receivers that the league has ever seen. However Stephen Davis at Dallas and Jeff Garcia at Altanta, ought to be enough to win this week.

Cougars 64 Sharks 52

*****Upset Special*****

The Panthers are leading the East division. No that s not a type-o, they actually are. I'm not sure what they are putting in the water in Penisville… err… Pennellville these days, but it's having a positive effect on their games. The Onslaught on the other hand is having a few rookie owner growing pains. I have heard rumors that Owner McQueeney may actually fire his coach if they do not produce a victory this week and higher the currently unemployed Mel Kiper, Jr. to run the team. I figure that would be a bit extreme but when your 0-4 anything looks like a good idea. However, I feel they'll get their first win this week. The Panthers triple headed monster of Grbac, Ismail and Henry really haven't proved to me that they can be consistent, (let alone good) and could prove that they Panthers are really paper tigers. However, if I am wrong this week, for the rest of the year, the Onondaga Onslaught shall be referred to as the Screaming Queens.

Onslaught 65 Panthers 52

WoWW (2-2) vs. Crushers (0-4)

Maybe the Crushers should try Fantasy Ping-Pong.

WoWW 89 Crusher 45

Game of the Week

Storm (4-0) vs. Maulers (3-1)

The Storm is 4 and 0, but by no means do they have a stranglehold on the West division with the Maulers are closely breathing down their necks (Sorry about that mental image on that one.) (Pretty ugly really) Neither team goes into this perennially brutal match up with any love loss nor at full strength. The Storm lose stud QB McNabb to a bye week, and the Maulers loss Eddie George to a sprained ankle. (Maybe) However just as an added knife-twisting move the Strom are starting the "Touchdown Stealing Bastard", Steve McNair. All things considered this game could easily be a tie, however I'm going to have to go with the Col.'s Maulers this week.

Maulers 85 Storm 84

Good luck to all. ~Jim