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Well.. It's 3:4 am. I've spent the better part of the last 18 hours attempting in vain to repair my Microsoft Office installation, with a small break to get my ass kicked 4-1 by Col. Piro in PS2 NFL 2003. All in all it's been a bad day. But I get to play the Crusher tomorrow, so things are looking up.

Anyway, on with week 5.

Nukers (2-2) vs. Magic (3-1)
Coach Dave "Plays with Privates" Ryan has his team scoring more often tan Coach Sauer's sister at a Friday night pig roast. And but for an embarrassing loss to The Panthers in week 4,would be tied for the lead in the West. The Magic, on the other hand, are in a mess this week. Shawn Alexander, who finally woke up last week setting a league record 52 points in one half of play, is on bye this week. So is Randy "That isn't my weed" Moss. But the worse blow of all, the Magic will lose Warner for 8-10 weeks with a broken hand. A very interesting coincidence is associated with that injury as well. It seems ever since the actual instant of the sound of the snap of the bone in Warner's hand, Coach Andy "Not So Mighty" Quinn, began to sob uncontrollably and Coach Naughton started to giggle uncontrollably. Both continue at the time of this post. Anyway, look for The Nukers to get back on track this week against a wounded Magic.

Nukers 65 Magic 50

Knights (2-2) vs. Lightning (0-4)
The Knights currently get the award for the leagues most middle of the road team. Not only are they 2-2 but also they have exactly the same points scored for (255) as against (255). What are the odds of that? However they are on a 2 game win streak, and only one game out of first in their division. When asked about his teams performance this year Coach Jay "Walking" Naughton was quoted as saying,"      ", to that he also added, "       " which seemed eerily appropriate. The Lightning are rolling up quite a nice streak of their own, losses. In all fairness, Coach Joe "No" Brainerd's team has been riddled with injuries and now with the loss of Masson for 3-4 weeks, I'm sure once Franchise Back Garrison Hearst gets back on track things will be fine. But until then there's not much help in sight

Knights 75 Lightning 50

Sharks (1-3) vs. Cougars (1-3).
The Cougars lost a CLOSE one last week to The Maulers in the annual PHP Bowl. Coach "Jaime's Cryin'" Lynn had his team highly emotionally involved in that game and I'm not sure how soon he'll be able to bring them back form such a devastating loss. The good news is this week the Cougars get to play one of the official 2002 bye weeks, The Sharks. The bad news The Cougars are as well.

Sharks 50 Cougars 45

Panther (2-2) vs. Onslaught (3-1)
Let me take this moment to remind Coach "Dino" Sauer of his pre-season prophecy;"No one ever got better trading with WoWW." At the time I remember Coach "Six Pack by Breakfast" Sheridan taking exception to that, but I hear rumors that The front office of the Onslaught are relatively happy with their off season moves as well. This is a must win game for The Panthers. Having already dropped a divisional game to the Onslaught week 2, a second loss this early could end any hopes of a run at the division title. The Onslaught had a HUGE win last week over The Storm, scoring a season high 114 points and putting the first blemish in The Storms loss column. Looks like the momentum is swinging in their favor, as well as the Match-ups.

Onslugs 75 Panthers 40.

-= Upset Special =-

Mauler (1-3) vs. Storm (3-1)
Eeeeewwwwwwww…This is one could be UGLY. However in a phone interview this week The Col. has assured me that The Maulers are going to "Kick that big fat Irishman's ass." Personally I think he will need to bring a bigger foot. But stranger things have happened…Like The Crushers being 4-0.

Maulers 62 Storm 60

-= Game of the Week =-
WoWW (2-2) vs. Crushers (4-0))
The Crusher, lead my the dynamic coaching duo of Laurel and Hardy.. Err Tom and Kyle have lurched out to an amazing 4-0 start. The amazing thing is this team is averaging 76.5 per week and perennial Crusher stud Terrell Owens has yet to do much of any thing. (12 total point). Look out if T.O. ever hits his stride. However, the reality is this is a must win game for WoWW. Loose this one and they may as well start looking for a dress for the 2002 Bridesmaids Bowl. However Coach McMahon has made several moves this week in attempt to compete, cutting the brilliant 1st round draft choice of Johnny Morton and the equally brilliant trade pick up, Travis Taylor. Will it be enough? I think so, the extra fire power coupled with the extra motivation caused by the shear horror of the possibility of losing to the lowly Crushers twice in a season, should be enough to motivate WoWW to a win.

WoWW 65 Crushers 60.

Good luck to all
~Jim