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Fantasy Football 2008 It's anagram day! For those of you with a South Valley Sharks dictionary, an anagram is when you take a word, and scramble the letters to from new words. For example: DOUCHEBAG anagrams to A BED COUGH. Speaking of Col. Piro, maybe someone should remind him that fantasy football season started over 3 weeks ago. The Maulers are 0-3, but what's worse is all three losses came against 2001 Sauer Bowl contestants. So far the #1 at each position are QB Tom Brady, RB Priest Holmes, WR Peerless Price, TE Randy McMicheal, K Dave Akers, and D Chargers. If someone would be so kind as to show me just one of those preseason cheat sheets that projected THAT line up….So much for experts. Anyway, on with week 4.
WoWW (2-1) vs. Naughton Knights (2-1)
A KNIGHTS HUNG NOT 60 - WWoW 55 Syracuse Magic (2-1) vs. South Valley Sharks (1-2)Looks like the Evil One may be losing his touch. Perhaps he merely cast one of his spells backwards practicing in a mirror. Seriously, Fred Taylor is healthy, Moss is being soundly out scored by Peerless Price, and Warner is about as effective as Col. Piro in a wind sprint. Something is clearly amiss. That said they still lead The North Division. The Sharks on the other hand have assumed their rightful place at the bottom of the South Division after dropping a close one last week (68 to 66) to The Crushers. A game that had huge a divisional impact. Look for The Sharks to employ the Run and Gun offence this week, not necessarily to win, but in the hopes to show case their WR talent as trade bait. Who knows, it could be enough fire power to beat the obviously befuddled Magic however, Moss seems to always have a big game after he's arrested for assault with a vehicle and then cries like a baby about it on ESPN, while explaining that the joint found in the back seat wasn't his.. So Ill give the edge here to The Magic. A GAY CRIES SCUM 75 - SHAVES A HUSKY TROLL 65 Connelly Crushers (3-0) vs. Liverpool Lightning (0-3)The Crushers are 3-0….Just take a moment to let that sink in….. Did you shudder like I did? Yeah, totally scary thought that this team could actually contend. That hasn't happened since back when Steve Young could remember his own phone number. The one thing they have going for them is someone different steps up every week to seal a win. The one thing the Lighting has going for them is they get to play the Maulers week 11. CLENCHES SURLY RON 80 - GIRL PIG LOVE @ HOLT INN 45 The Nukers (2-1) vs. The Pennellville Panthers (1-2)Surprise team of the year The Nukers, are simply running over people in 2002. Lead by Lamar "I think I'm Emmitt" Smith, they are averaging a very respectable 71 points per game and Coach Dave "we don't need no stinkin' quarterback" Ryan really has his team fired up. The Panthers under the sage leadership of Coach Puppet Master Sauer, on the other hand are in a tailspin, with 2 consecutive losses. Look for The Panthers to shake thing up this week and implant a Run and Gun offence, but against the juggernaught that is The Nukers, I don't think it will be enough.
KNEE HURTS 75 - VENT, PILL, ALLEN THEN HERPES 65
Onondaga Onslaught (2-1) vs. Sheridan Storm (3-0) The Storm travel to the Onondaga this week with only 2 and ˝ horsemen in the stable. Harrison is on bye week and Marshall got the FAULK knock out of him in week 3. He should play this week, but one more shot like that and he'll have to give up his career as an NFL running back for that off a professional bobble-head toy. The Onsluts are a not-so-surprising 2-1 even though one of those wins was over the hapless Maulers. Never the less, they are playing solid ball this year and have excellent match ups in week 4 which gives me enough reason to smell an upset. A LANDAU GOONS THONG 70 - HAD SISTER ON MR. 65
-= Game of the Week =-
ACCUSER OF GROIN 65 - A LAMER, I'M ON .US 40
~Jim |